So, here are a couple more photos of the ongoing Art Journal dividers for my becoming Brave project, I'm really enjoying this workshop and am super glad I chose Erin's class as my first class, it has been a nice jumping off point. I finished the front and back!! of these dividers and started the final divider which came to a screeching halt when I realized (which really was more like...notified by the Boy) that the ball-game was to begin in ohhh, say 40 minutes... 40 minutes normally is plenty of time to clean up and toss some war-paint to the face... except we (me) had a mini-meltdown when the Teen hadn't done the thing I ask her to do... again.
Life tends to get in the way of creativity a lot here with a teen in the house, and trying to reclaim the "me" while keep a semblance of order has been at times, exhausting. Mind you, I can remember many things about being a Teen myself, it was horrible. My mom was controlling, my dad always worked... I heard things like "wait til your father finds out!" and then, he would and more punishment (for the horrendous xyz crime) would be passed down. I remember (if you haven't heard this before) that I was "ALWAYSSSSS grounded.) So now, as a mom...I think back and wonder if my mom did this to me... if I am repeating patterns that I promised myself as a teen, I wouldn't.
Yes, I am in "her business" ... I ask her about school, I want to know... and I want more than "fine" and "I don't know" is not an answer. (My parents weren't big talkers... just big fans of the word "No".) If her friends want to go out, we want to know who they are, where she plans to go, when and what times... most of the time, we ask to meet parents and offensively, we always ask to meet who she is going out with. This is not for embarrassment factor, this is not for control factor... this is a safety issue and I will not apologize. There are far too many assholes and weirdo's in the world today to not ask these simple and basic questions. I am not here to be her friend, although I would like to be friendlier at times. We have told her that she teaches us how to parent her... she doesn't grasp this concept and attempting to explain it, only seems to frustrate her more. I am not going to apologize that Joe, Sally and TommyLee's parents do not care that they stay out until 1am, hang out with the kid that smokes "the pot", gets lousy grades and has no aspirations beyond level 112 in Halo (mind you, we don't own a single Halo game, so if there are no levels, oopsy daisies...blasphemous to some I know) I am not a prude, and I am not going to apologize if she and her friends tend to think I am, because I know how to say "No", frankly, I think more parents should. Would it be easier to put my head in the sand and ignore the fact that she clears chats when I walk up behind her on FB? Maybe??... but what is she hiding? Perhaps nothing... did YOU throw away perfectly innocent notes to your friends so your parents didn't find them? or did you throw away the notes that contained shit you didn't want them to know?.... RIIIIIGHT. Something's stinky in cheeseville.
I pick my battles, and I choose to battle for her, whether she like it or not... right now, I am her parent, not her friend... I can unhappily await the friend stage, while I navigate the keep her safe and into adulthood stage.
And all of this to say... I realized this while I was working in my studio this week, pushing the paints back and forth, clipping pictures and finding phrases, it's all about movement and finding the piece that fits... kinda like making dinner, rounding out the plate. The Teen, is finding her pieces, right now, she's attracted to all those easy to grab, it doesn't take a lot of work, but tastes and looks really good pieces... Our job as parents are to make sure they look good, taste good, but eat the vegetables too. Everything in moderation...
In my opinion.
Life tends to get in the way of creativity a lot here with a teen in the house, and trying to reclaim the "me" while keep a semblance of order has been at times, exhausting. Mind you, I can remember many things about being a Teen myself, it was horrible. My mom was controlling, my dad always worked... I heard things like "wait til your father finds out!" and then, he would and more punishment (for the horrendous xyz crime) would be passed down. I remember (if you haven't heard this before) that I was "ALWAYSSSSS grounded.) So now, as a mom...I think back and wonder if my mom did this to me... if I am repeating patterns that I promised myself as a teen, I wouldn't.
Yes, I am in "her business" ... I ask her about school, I want to know... and I want more than "fine" and "I don't know" is not an answer. (My parents weren't big talkers... just big fans of the word "No".) If her friends want to go out, we want to know who they are, where she plans to go, when and what times... most of the time, we ask to meet parents and offensively, we always ask to meet who she is going out with. This is not for embarrassment factor, this is not for control factor... this is a safety issue and I will not apologize. There are far too many assholes and weirdo's in the world today to not ask these simple and basic questions. I am not here to be her friend, although I would like to be friendlier at times. We have told her that she teaches us how to parent her... she doesn't grasp this concept and attempting to explain it, only seems to frustrate her more. I am not going to apologize that Joe, Sally and TommyLee's parents do not care that they stay out until 1am, hang out with the kid that smokes "the pot", gets lousy grades and has no aspirations beyond level 112 in Halo (mind you, we don't own a single Halo game, so if there are no levels, oopsy daisies...blasphemous to some I know) I am not a prude, and I am not going to apologize if she and her friends tend to think I am, because I know how to say "No", frankly, I think more parents should. Would it be easier to put my head in the sand and ignore the fact that she clears chats when I walk up behind her on FB? Maybe??... but what is she hiding? Perhaps nothing... did YOU throw away perfectly innocent notes to your friends so your parents didn't find them? or did you throw away the notes that contained shit you didn't want them to know?.... RIIIIIGHT. Something's stinky in cheeseville.
I pick my battles, and I choose to battle for her, whether she like it or not... right now, I am her parent, not her friend... I can unhappily await the friend stage, while I navigate the keep her safe and into adulthood stage.
And all of this to say... I realized this while I was working in my studio this week, pushing the paints back and forth, clipping pictures and finding phrases, it's all about movement and finding the piece that fits... kinda like making dinner, rounding out the plate. The Teen, is finding her pieces, right now, she's attracted to all those easy to grab, it doesn't take a lot of work, but tastes and looks really good pieces... Our job as parents are to make sure they look good, taste good, but eat the vegetables too. Everything in moderation...
In my opinion.
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