Comforting Possibilities... and uncomfortable ones too

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For months now I have been tip-toeing about my space... my new home, my children (just to be honest... sometimes I stomp through that path without much grace, but not to get side-tracked...), my creative needs and my ability to be comfortable with *MY* possibilities....

Everything seems to frighten me on some base level. I'm not writing about the boogie man or shadowy figures lurking ready to pounce... yet? I am. The land we've invested in, the house we've moved to... our home... the possibilities are seemingly endless and I have filled them up with put this here and that there and we'll do xyz in this part here.... and well, we are working at something most all the time.... all the time. It's hard work, it's rewarding and I feel great pride in the improvements, the new things we've learned... and yet?

I journeyed with Yemaya recently... if you aren't familiar with this gracious, soulful Goddess, I recommend you look for her in your travels. Stephanie Anderson Ladd's new book In the Lap of the Goddess describes her like this: Yemaya, the Creator goddess from West Africa. She is a mermaid who helps you get in touch with your True Self through dreams, ideas, and creative self-expression. What I discovered was...

... I have all the physical tools to do many different types of things that my right brain thinks and wants to do... whether that be painting, encaustic arts, food processing, gardening, photography, graphic arts.... and yet... stymied, stuck, paused. It's uncomfortable. To step out of this shell and into the realm of I could possibly fail.... it's uncomfortable to be afraid.

This morning when I got up, for the second time this month I've had rabbits near my garden. This is a comfort in a few ways... one, because they're cute as can be (and far enough that I'm not worried for the few things that are flourishing!), and two, my neighbor with an over active .22 hasn't shot them... "just because," and lastly they encourage me... they venture out into this open area, my area... there are 3 of them and they bask in the morning light, eat breakfast and then scurry back into the forest when ready... or when I've made too much noise. These furry family members (even if they don't know it) remind me that to get to the things you want... you have to step out of the darkness of the forest and into the morning light of possibilities...