This morning I woke up with a thing. One of those I can't quite remember what it was ????!! .... things. Do you know what I mean. It was kind of following me around all morning. Teasing me with a pinch here or there, distracting me from things I should be doing... but then, I've been fairly distracted for weeks.
  (Prepare for a very long run-on sentence :) I love these...)
I can't keep track of things, I make lists that are never completed... the making of them, not the doing you see..., I've lost several items of random importance, ie: the back to my cell phone (why was it off?!)... only to be found days after the replacement was paid for and received in the post a week later..., the very best way (sing it with me) EVVAAAH to torture a teenager in the world... my coupon binder... I'm devastated, as much of a love/hate relationship as I have with that thing, it's a lot of work to keep up, but totally worth it at the check-out, GONE... *poof* cannot find this thing anywhereeee,  these are only small highlights from the previous few weeks and don't include the typical lost keys, wallet, glasses, you get the idea....


So this thing, this morning was just a shrug sort of. An up and down simple shoulder shrug statement of what the effff. :/

♥ Cancer Moon for Me ♥

Cancer Moon - Canon EOS Digital Rebel XTI 

"This Full Moon is a time of acceptance, a time to stand before the mirror and see everything about ourselves, within and without knowing that it is all who we are. It all has a place. It all has its role. It's not for us to judge which bits should be there and which shouldn't. Everything is here for a reason. Only then can we recognize the beautiful poetry that lies within the apparently random nature of our hearts and minds. To do this under the light of the Full Moon, is to receive the deepest blessings from the heart of the Great Mother. So, embrace and enjoy....."  Sarah Varcas wrote this and you can read this Cancer Moon article in its entirety, and other astrological wonderments from her well organized website find her here, on FaceBook too!

Having lived these last forty plus years learning to come out of my hardened crab shell, allowing the tender parts of me to flow forth (and good goddess knows, I can FLOW FORTH with the best of them...  with tears sometimes refusing to stop regardless of the threats I try to enforce upon them...) I gave in sometime ago, I just let them roll, because they, like the pull of the moon, know what it is that needs to be washed out, let go and once it's done... well I am lighter, balanced, free-minded and able to focus on what it is that will benefit *me*, my family, the situation at hand... the future we're facing and the space in between. This isn't to say that when the current ebbs it doesn't result in another free flowing round of face wash... because when Lady Cancer ebbs! OY! This California girl, with her southern drawl ebbs with the best of them!  What I'm trying to say, is that Mother Nature, Mother Earth, the Creator, Luna and the grand Sun I love to warm myself with, they tie so closely to all of us, and celebrating ourselves, and remembering to honor the place we are in is just as important to how our daily lives function. 

As I sit here, watching the rain flow down (we're anticipating another 3 days of rain, it began yesterday... felt like a perfect way to begin my Cancer moon phase,) I feel a grand welcome to the adventure I'm on, the forward movement I'm making. I put my registration to the SQUAM by the Sea into the post this morning... I *wish beyond wishes* that I could manage a visit to the New Hampshire fun, but I am living within the means given and setting realistic goals for myself (and household!) for some other things that are on my horizon! And I KNOW KNOW KNOW that I will get to see these lovely Goddess Beauties again!

Android Global @ OBX Serendipity Bliss 2011

And that just makes my wee little heart soar like you wouldn't believe... if only the tantalizing and sassy Kate Inglis would conjure herself into the midnight ocean would my trip be perfection before it began!

A quick catch up... and some MOVEMENT

It's been a few days, and busy ones to boot! I've joined the DDD group with full force, vim and vigor to put my baked goods into the oven and onto the shelf, and I'm integrating a few other wildly forceful challenges into this for ME too... like joining Tamara Laporte at her band of wildly talented artists who've joined her LIFEBOOK 2012 Class at Willowing Arts for a yearlong journey of self healing and massive artistry knowledge and all sorts of wild fun! Registration is still open, so if you haven't you should!

I also am keeping the commitment to myself to move outside my house every.single.day. Even if this means, sneaking from the front of the house, edging slowly through the hedges around the northern edge and then escaping into the woods (that's what the great dark forestry is there for right!?!) so the prying eyes of others cannot see. I did find a bit of courage on a morning this week and snapped a few shots of Joe & Charley while they scratch their heads against the myrtle trees or eat bamboo theBoy and his friend Noah had brought up while clearing a path a week ago. It was a brief trek to the southern side, but hopefully went unnoticed, as I did my utmost to be undetected and swift... I felt a bit spy like :) I don't like feeling of being trapped, whether that is physical or mental, it is a rather heavy and unnecessary burden that over Winter Solstice I set to burn free with quite a bit of other fears, frustrations and false obligations.

Weight is the thing women carry in (or on) various parts of their bodies... it should NOT be what we carry in our hearts or souls. I've been watching the words my fellow Goddesses' have been choosing to celebrate for their new year, Freedom, Story, Bravery, Boldness, Release, Abundance... oh the list is long and varied and **inspiring**. I've tossed and turned my mind backwards and forwards... then it occurred... forward! FORWARD!! Yes... movement... MOVEMENT.... that's it... Loosing Hesitations is about movement. My word for 2012.... MOVEMENT. There ya go folks... I'm off to bake some goodies, take some snaps, make some price-lists and then *poof* MOVE them to the coffee counter and then... maybe... to an etsy store near you .... weeeeeehoo

Oh... and with a bit of shake and shimmy I'll be paintin' faces and art journalling along the way, keeping my SouLodge ladies company with a more vocal presence for the first time in two seasons, because I think maybe I've been behaving more like a mouse than I should have... and it's time to stop that, I have things to offer, THEY have things to offer me and it's a beneficial circle for everyone who participates :) MOVEMENT towards participation!!

Gallery 37

52 Projects is a group I joined at the end of 2011 and one that will be at the forefront of keeping me busy and inspired this year... the prompt that is current is:

Capture 1 Moment in time from this day. The Gallery opened yesterday, yet I didn't find myself with camera or reason to leave the house... filled with the need to sit and clean a bit, the desire to release a bit of negative energy that has been surrounding our Charming Blue Farm House since the traditional New Year has began.

I took solace from the outside world and a bit even from indoors. I caught up on blog posts, found about 112 online courses I would love to dive into... I'm seriously considering adding a "WISHLIST" page tab... one just for the WISH Studios.... have you been there (I'm sure I'm the only one late to the game...)

The SQUAM workshops have opened up and Oh... I am.... speechless... and a bit needy... I want more time.... only two classes ??!! What?? And Flora my gosh, I want to take her class... I'm torn sooo torn??!! Can I PLEASEEE go to Italy??! Someone get me a passport! Sheesh-amia! (hehe...made myself giggle)

Here's another... I've wanted to take one of Andrea's courses for the last two years, I am working on follow through... I WILL take one of Andrea's courses *THIS* year!!!

I am fully registered for the next year to continue working my soul into a frenzy and fulfill me to the tip top of who I am. These women keep me grounded, they prepare a safe place to share thoughts, ideas, fears and the inspiration is over the top! The thoughtful love and courageous enthusiasm found here with Pixie and this tribe is beyond awesome!

OK... those are just a very small sampling of what I snooped around and drooled over yesterday... then I went to the Boy's basketball game (he's the scorekeeper since 6th graders can't officially play at his school)... theTeen, by way of being a Teen has "given" heh me her iTouch, and as such, I'm learning all about the instagr.am program.... sooooo here goes :)

TODAY... this is my moment... THIS is what stopped me... this said... HEY... here I am, you pass me all the time, yet you don't say hello... I'm here, I've lived here for a long time... I have a story to tell.

This is a beautiful barn, that I was told by two young men (age's withheld, but if I were to guess, I'd imagine... ehhhh 80ish...) was originally built and painted green in 1913, by one Silas J. Cooper. Mr. Cooper's widow still lives on the property, however, the two gentlemen I spoke with had been sent out to move a tractor and make sure 'the little missy wasn't snoopin' in the junk heap' ;) After I asked permission, they caught a good bit of laughter when I plopped to the the ground and proceeded to click away with the iTouch... of course, my camera was at home... I was on the way back from a Dr's appointment, ill prepared for the photo op ( I *will* STOP that bad behavior) ... They told me to come back anytime... Mrs. Cooper would be happy to fill me with stories and hot coffee and I do think I might do just that!

Today... was a great day.

Lessons & Objectives 2012 (Pt.1)

This year, this 2012... it has not started much like it ... much like "I" had intentions for it to begin. 


Lesson and Objective #1. I will learn (again and again) to release control....

Baby Girls grow into young women....


Lesson and Objective #2. I will learn (again and again.... and again) to breathe and release, for her happiness, is my.... ?success? This will be hard and will hurt and will ebb more than flow....

The world I live in has many things to teach me and while my days are long and I am always in a state of repair, I have stories to tell, things to learn, joys to celebrate and sorrows to sing....


Lesson and Objective #3. I am a mother, a creator, a teacher, a student and a risk taker. I survive, I thrive and I make mistakes. I will learn to accept me for me and I offer this self to the world, because it is time to come out of my hermit shell...